Scaffolding Your Success
It has been one year since I left a decades-long career operating a successful real estate company. Though I was excited to follow my dream of living in the Kootenay mountains, there was a palpable negative emotional impact that felt a lot like grief. Not only did I trade an identity and title I was proud to have earned, but I knew some of my relationships would change, and friends, that has been the most significant cost.
This experience reminded me of the importance of an intentional community to scaffold our success in business and life.
A good friend called not long ago, saying, "I have made a series of impulsive decisions, and I need you to have my back on them." She wasn't looking for caution but affirmation. This reminded me of Jonathan Fields' "Success Scaffolding" which has nourished my business planning sessions and even helped me mentor people to live alcohol-free lifestyles outside of work.
According to Fields, you need six types of people to scaffold your business plan:
Co-Strivers: Positive people achieving a similar goal
Champions: Someone to cheer you on when discouraged
Accountants: Someone to keep you honest and on track
Mentors: Someone with more experience in this area
Challengers: Someone who believes in you while giving honest feedback on blind spots
Community: A group that helps you feel a sense of belonging
This scaffold isn't just helpful—it's essential for well-being. The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that strong relationships are the single most powerful predictor of happiness and longevity. Meanwhile, chronic social isolation increases mortality risk by 29%, comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes daily. Our brains are fundamentally wired for connection; without meaningful human bonds, our mental and physical health suffers. So, if we are to be motivated to follow through on our big goals, we need each other.
The people we need vary with circumstances. After giving a speech, I find encouragement helpful and criticism devastating. A few days later, I'm ready to meet my challenger to discuss improvements. My father has been my most significant lifetime mentor, but as a wine enthusiast, he wasn't the person I turned to when I decided to stop drinking. We might think of creating a network of villages that support different aspects of our lives—spiritual, business and health.
In her book Belonging, Toko-pa Turner suggests we need to "be the longing" we seek in the world. During this recent sabbatical, I experimented with giving to my community without expectation of financial reward. I taught free yoga classes, grew an oversized garden to share with neighbours, led a community choir, and became a Director of the She Recovers® Foundation Board. The reward came in the form of enriching conversation, dozens of farm-fresh eggs and a deep sense of fulfillment. To anyone waiting for belonging, I suggest making the call, volunteering, or extending your hand to a friend.
Conversely, I am mindful of the company that drains me. I may care for a chronic complainer, but sometimes my “energy account” just can’t afford the withdrawal. I might avoid them on a day when my optimism is low and encourage them when I am more resourced.
We can apply this awareness to our clients too. What might they need to feel supported? Do they need experienced advice today or emotional encouragement?
As we build our scaffolds of support, we become crucial pillars for others. I've witnessed how the right support transforms challenges into stepping stones. If you're looking to strengthen your own success scaffold, I'd be honoured to be part of your network.
I can’t wait to learn what role I can help you fill.
Love, Jen
